Right reading, incorrect inference?

Even if you interpret someone's body language correctly, there is no guarantee you have the inference right. For example, if someone's body language suggests they are angry, it doesn't mean they are angry with you.

Eye contact

You are probably familiar with the averted eye contact of the deceiver but research has also identified more blinking and dilation of pupils. But you will have to be watching very closely to notice this.

Cultural differences

When trying to interpret body language, be aware of cultural differences. For example, in some cultures avoiding eye contact is a sign of shiftiness or dishonesty but in other cultures it is a sign of respect.

Response times

If you know the person, watch for more hesitations and longer responses times as their mind races to maintain the fiction.

Non verbal behaviour communicates your attitude

If you want to make a good impression, getting your body language right is very important. Research has shown that:
- Body language is 10 times more effective than what you say in the impression you make on others.
- Body language is 10 times more effective in expressing your confidence.
- Body language will convey your attitude towards other people more effectively than what you say.

Why is body language seen as more true than what you say?

Here's the big question - when a person's body language contradicts what they are saying which do you attend to? You answered body language right? Why is that? Research has shown that:
- Verbal behaviour is easier to fake,
- Non verbal behaviour is often unconscious and tends to let slip how we really feel about other people,
- When we pick up on someone's body language we tend to interpret it as “getting a feeling from that person” and because we can not isolate the cause, that feeling may be trusted as correct.

Watch the context

When trying to interpret body language, the context is everything. The meaning of body language could depend on:
- Your relationship with the other person including the degree of dominance, submission or even attraction,
- What is being said at the time,
- The reason for the interaction such as business or leisure,
- The setting of the interaction.

So, a person with their arms folded over their chest could be communicating anything from "I'm cold" to "I feel defensive” to "I have sore arms” all depending on the situation.

Still body posture

The body posture of someone trying to deceive you may be stiller as they are trying to control any non verbal signs that may give them away.

Displays of emotion

People trying to deceive you are likely to smile less and may seem less friendly or attentive.

Fidgeting

Adaptors, those gestures such as flicking hair, fiddling with pens or other nervous self touching gestures tend to increase with those trying to deceive you.

Listen for how they say things

The person trying to deceive you will try to say as little as possible so that they won't be caught out. If you know the person well, you may notice that they will try to limit their answers to a simple yes or no. Also, the individual may use less specific language.

A lot of communication is non-verbal

Early research into communication suggested that 93% of all communication is non-verbal. Although this research has long since been debunked, we all accept that when we are communicating ‘Its not what we say but the way that we say it.' But more than that – it is the way we dress, how close we stand to each other, where we sit in a room and even the car we drive or the house we live in.

Ask yourself, what is your non-verbal behaviour saying about you?

Body language isn't a language

Body language isn't a language as such. There are few examples of body language that have specific meanings like words do. The only exception are ‘emblems' and include signs such as waving or V signs. And even the meaning of this type of body language can change depending on the situation or the culture of the user.